Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Ultimate Time Out

Every once in a while, as well meaning moms and dads, discipline strategies escape us. One method used for consequences proves surprisingly effective and then, just as surprising, that same method a few days later no longer works. Just when you think you know what you are doing as a parent, you realize, really, that you DON'T.

Parenting is an ever-evolving process that requires much patience and a little bit of skill, and, most importantly, a willingness to beg God for mercy.

At one time or another in the last nine years we have implemented consequences in various forms:
1.Taking away a favorite toy or stuffed animal that brings joy
2.Time outs chairs

3. Unplugging "stuff" - TV's, video games, etc.
4.Hugging and kissing on the lips between siblings during disputes(an admitted personal favorite)
5.No dessert - an absolute heartbreaker for Chandler

For the most part, we have been somewhat successful and have managed through the grace of God to raise well-mannered and respectful little children. But as they grow older, we realize that our methods of discipline must transition as well.

Before my little ones ride off into the horizon on souped-up Harleys with tattoos up to their armpits,I thought it was time to maybe consider new correction methodology that suitably corresponds with their ages. I have been giving this considerable thought lately when I stumbled upon a genius discipline approach through a rainy day activity this past week.

The Ultimate Time Out:

Velcro jumpsuits secured safely to a velcro-lined wall ensures ample time for the child to ponder their injudiciousness and contemplate the manner in which they will improve their behavior. A kitchen timer, with compatible velcro stripping, is placed beside the offender, alerting the parents and child when the time-out has come to a conclusion.

Absolutely foolproof until at least the age of 18.

For those of you who question the appropriateness of my idea, and maybe even think that the neurons in my brain don't fire like they used to, it is important for you to know that I am contacting James Dobson for approval.

Stick around and I'll let you know what he says.

(I am well aware that the humor is bad and totally understand if you choose not to come back. I wish I could change, but see, I'm stuck in my ways.)

1 comment:

wendymom said...

You will have to ask Les. P. how I almost wet my pants from laughing so hard when I did the velcro wall myself. It is actually quite a rush, so I wouldn't recommend it for time out.