Because we were running a few minutes behind schedule this morning, I hurriedly helped Mary Mac dress for school. She was still half asleep as I pulled her chapel dress over her head, slipped socks on her feet and buckled her shoes. Her eyes didn't fully open until she sat down at the breakfast table.
Because the clock in my head was screaming, "TARDY, YOU'RE GONNA GET A TARDY!", I rushed my children through normal, school morning routines, out the door and made it to school just in time to escape the headmaster's evil eye. (I'm just kidding. The headmaster really doesn't give me the evil eye. He just happens to squint his eyes at me when I wheel into the carpool line because his contacts are giving him trouble.)
Later on, I picked up Mary Mac from school and inquired about the events of her day. With hands on her hips and an incredulous look on her face, she responded, "Mommy, I can't believe you did that to me!"
"What did I do to you?" I asked.
"Well, when I was using the restroom, I looked down and couldn't believe it. I thought 'I MUST BE DREAMING, I MUST BE ASLEEP' because when you dressed me this morning you left on my pajama bottoms! I couldn't even play on the monkey bars!"
After apologizing profusely I promised Mary Mac that the next time I would joyfully take the tardy and casually throw a bottle of saline solution at the headmaster as I passed him by.