Sunday, June 17, 2012

I Didn't Deserve You, But My Children Did

I didn't deserve you, but my children did.  Years ago when we first met, I was wild and flighty; you were steady and so sure. My faith was on shaky ground; your feet were planted firmly.Two people could not have been more opposite, but by the grace of God, ended up with everything in common.

I didn't deserve you, but my children did.  You never left my side during those unremitting hours of newborn terror. Neither one of us was all that capable, but your encouragement and confidence led me through those sleepless nights and fearful days when I was paralyzed by inadequacy. I became a good mom because you were a great dad.

I didn't deserve you, but my children did. You were immediately engaged and enamored with each of our children. It was an instant bond that came as natural to you as breathing, as instinctive as the beat of your generous heart. You simply could not get enough of them. Your patience and your pride allowed for endless rounds of patty cake and peek-a-boo, then transitioned into hours of UNO and playing catch in the yard.

I didn't deserve you, but my children did.  You are a gifted and compassionate physician, with patient burdens I cannot comprehend. Your workload and schedule demand all of you, but you have never succumbed to the pressure. Starting your day extra early and working through lunch, you make it home for dinner with your family, and then tuck each child into bed with prayer, knowing you will be up to midnight to work on medical charts that fell second place to your children.

I didn't deserve you, but my children did. The way you look at your children cannot be contrived, a mixture of love and wonder, amazement and joy. I never tire of watching you watch them. School performances and plays, ballgames and recitals, doctor visits and pediatric rehab, you always sit in the seat beside me, squeezing my hand with tears in your eyes, still so grateful you are  allowed the moment.

I didn't deserve you, but my children did.  You are my closest friend, my most trusted confidante. My love for you defies available words and still stuns me in its overwhelming capacity. The children unabashedly adore you, look up to you, and want to be just like you. And the dog thinks you're the best.

I didn't deserve you, but my children did. 

Happy Father's Day,



dee said...

I have just been catching up on your blog and am so sorry to hear of your oldest's injury. It is good to read of his progress thus far. Praying his recovery will be complete.

Joni said...


Thanks so much!