Why I Will Be Late For Work

I am joyfully re-entering the world of the employed next Thursday. A new semester begins at a local college where I am an adjunct professor in the Department of Kinesiology.It's a great part-time job with hours that do not interfere with my primary role and commitment as domestic engineer (fancy word for housewife).While I am excited about being around folks who use complete sentences and seeing if the neurons in my brain still fire like they used to, I approach the upcoming week with much trepidation because I KNOW I'm going to be late. Why?

Because of this:




And this:




And this:



And this:



They really are very lovely children, and I say this in the most biased and nonobjective manner possible. But they are a little work in the morning. My husband is very involved in the morning mania and is completely capable when it comes to our three-ring circus routines - just not the most skilled when it comes to a hairbrush and hair bow.

Last semester,on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he clothed, fed and groomed all little children before taking them to school. Yes, all by himself and without complaint. (He's the best) However, I began to notice a particular trend with Mary Mac's hair each time I retrieved her from her preschool class. The placement of her bow, which she INSISTS on wearing, was nothing less than bizarre: resting somewhat cockeyed near the center of her forehead and hanging onto just a few strands of hair. The bow sort of had a "help me I'm falling" look of panic to it.

I decided to finally make mention of this ill-placed hair bow situation to Mary Mac's teacher, mainly to let her know that it wasn't my hairstyling skills being displayed for all to see. The conversation went something like this:

Me: (upon seeing her lopsided bow) "Mary Mac, I see that daddy fixed your hair again today." (Wink, wink, nod, nod, while looking at the preschool teacher with a knowing, smug look)

Preschool teacher: " Actually, I fixed her hair today."

YIKES!!

Me: "Oh. Really. OK, um,(very awkward pause).....so what kind of large, expensive Christmas present may I give you this year?"

So I guess I will be grooming the children this semester. Which, as the pictures above clearly detail, means I will be late for work.