Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Word To Your Brother

My youngest brother, Josh, will become a first time dad in the next day or so, convincing me more than ever that as I get older the sand passing through the hourglass is starting to resemble that of a sandstorm in the Sahara.

There is an eleven year difference between the two us and I can't help but still consider him as the strangely smart five year old I chauffeured around our small town. I was often irritated by his incessant chatter about G.I. Joe figurines and even more annoyed by his Rain-man like recitations of division facts, particularly as it threatened to drown out the reverberations of songs like "Word Up" blasting from the tape player in my car. (You try to put on those airs and act real cool, But you got to realize that you're acting like fools)

So now he's a real live adult about to enter the unpredictable world of fatherhood. I want to tell him how to best prepare and what to expect, but really, words alone can't accurately describe how:

... the minute a newborn arrives, your own wailing rivals that of your child. leave the hospital FLABBERGASTED that personnel neglected to ask you if you knew what you were doing. drive 15mph home from the hospital because you've never seen so many crazy, loony tune drivers out on the road before. feel sympathetic towards other parents because their child is not nearly as beautiful as the alien-looking baby in your bassinet. are overwhelmed with joy the first time your baby smiles, even if it is gas related. understand why goggles are necessary when changing the diaper of an aimless, infant boy.

... you sleep with the baby monitor plastered to your ear, wondering why someone hasn't re-designed it as a headset.

Nope. I can't describe it to him. He'll understand soon enough.

Word up, Josh.


Meritt said...

Does he read your blog? :)

My brothers don't read mine (and I hope they never do....) but we had a major family blow out about 4 years ago when they couldn't understand us not wanting to drag 3 children to Vegas... how it wasn't a 'child friendly' city and how we didn't have $3,000 just sitting around to spend.

Now... he has 1 child. I hope he's learning how selfish he was at the time????

Joni said...

M- My brother reads it every day, although he would deny it if asked.

I agree with you. Casinos and children aren't a good mix. And if I had $3,000 I would head to Disney World, not Caesar's Palace.

Everyone sees the world in a whole new way when children enter the picture. It seems everyone knows what is best for a child...until they actually HAVE one. LOL

JMom said...

I love this true!!