Friday, November 21, 2008

The Things They Say

We have now ventured into the orthodontic arena with my nine year old. I am officially a dinosaur even though, unrealistically, I always thought I would be twenty-five years old. How is that I am old enough to have someone in a retainer?

Chase visited the orthodontist’s office this week for the installation of expanders that will slowly pry his mouth apart to appropriately house the teeth he already has. I don’t understand it all, but apparently this is phase one of many (thirteen?) that will result in perfect, pearly whites for my son.

There has been some confusion in our household about the proper name for the contraption that has regrettably stolen the “s” sound from my son. ( Occasionally he is able to enunciate the “s” in a way that is comprehensive but it unfortunately involves an abundance of spittle.) The orthodontic staff refers to the plastic and metal now overflowing in Chase’s mouth as “appliances.” I keep identifying them as retainers, and Chandler and Mary Mac call them SUSPENDERS.

Clearly, we are not up to date on orthodontic lingo. I’m trying to BRACE myself for what is to come. (Terrible, I know. Please refer to the mean, little red box in the corner.)


Last night while John was building a fire in the fireplace, Chandler offered to help. He told John that he would "scramble the newspapers" under the wood to help the fire get started

Our next door neighbors brought their newborn twins home from the hospital a week ago. Mary Mac was able to visit them, delighting in the real-life baby atmosphere that she is only able to mimic at home.

Tonight, while standing in the checkout line at Target, Mary Mac spontaneously said the following to us:

“Did you know that those twin babies are fed through their mommy’s pimples?”

The confused look on the Target employee’s face as she tried to reconcile acne with what she knew to be true about nursing brought me untold joy


Not too old to learn said...

please keep us updated on the "expander suspender thingy." we are next in line for the same with my 8 year old. i'd love to hear about your, hopefully, wonderful experience!

marriedsinglemom said...

I'm still trying to figure out how the orthodontist got me to pay her so that I could turn a key every night to "expand" my daughter's mouth! We paid for phase 1 and phase 2...she will pay for phase 3 and 4 seeing how she refuses to wear the retainer at night! I will enjoy her beautiful straight teeth for next few months and I think back often (usually when she makes me want to pull my hair out) to turning that key! Awful, I know...what can I say.