Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I Could Not Find Elvis



Maybe I’ve seen too many television shows, or my imagination is more vivid than my reality and my expectations loftier than a Southerner should be allowed, but I left Las Vegas disappointed that I was unable to secure a sighting of Elvis. I couldn’t find him on the strip that personifies all things Vegas, or in the colorful crowd of our hotel lobby, or even as an extra in the Cirque de Soleil’s aquatic performance of “O”. (I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Elvis was a pretty good swimmer.)

Maybe we frequented the wrong places. Gambling is not something either of us enjoys so we didn’t spend much time in the casinos. If I am going to willingly place some dollars into the hands of another, I’m expecting a sassy pair of shoes in return. Fanny pack-wearing grandpa and cigarette- smokin’ maw maw camped out at the black jack tables didn’t concur with my economic theory.

(Although, at one hotel, a BMW sitting high on a ledge above a row of slot machines beckoned those with fists full of quarters to try their hand at winning the ultimate driving machine with just the slightest pull of a simple lever. I wasn’t interested; however, throw a Kate Spade purse or a pair of designer jeans in place of the BMW and I’m certain I would have coughed up a few coins for the joy of retail rewards.)

We also didn’t visit any nightclubs, possibly missing the man in blue suede shoes shaking his tail feathers on the dance floor and snarling at the record-scratching DJ. (You know that Elvis had to be APPALLED that someone would purposefully scratch vinyl. He would demand that the DJ stop that wasteful nonsense as well as instruct him to PULL UP HIS PANTS BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR DRAWERS!)

My husband and I were probably the lamest visitors of all time to scope out the crazy town of Las Vegas, aptly and accurately referred to as sin city. I continuously worried out loud to any that would listen that the return of Jesus might find us all left behind if we didn’t catch the next flight back to the Bible-loving South as quickly as possible.

Which, now come to think of it, is probably exactly where Elvis was all along.

The next trip? I’m headed to Graceland…..

4 comments:

Meritt said...

I don't know if you were a reader of my blog a couple years ago but I've alluded to a family squabble that turned out to be huge and ugly at the time and almost made me cut off all ties.

It actually had something to do with Vegas. And the fact that we couldn't (and wouldn't) pay $3,000 that we did NOT have to drag our three small children there to attend the wedding of a family member who insisted on being married at the Bellagio.

Sin city indeed. :)

laurie said...

Kelly and I made our first trip to Vegas in November and felt exactly the same way you did. It was fun to see, but I won't be rushing back!

JMom said...

I agree. Been there done that. R was in a conference, so I stayed in my room most of the time reading and taking baths...yes, more than one a day because what else is a mother of preschooler to do when she is finally all alone?

picturesofhisgrace said...

Joni,
I have always enjoyed reading your blog especially your sense of humor that you add to it. After spending the weekend a couple of weekends ago at Winshape Retreat, I know where this sense of humor comes from. He greeted me at the door every time we had a meal. You have very sweet parents! They made us feel at home while we were there. They told us they were moving in a few days at your house while you guys were gone to Vegas.