The Things They Say

We have now ventured into the orthodontic arena with my nine year old. I am officially a dinosaur even though, unrealistically, I always thought I would be twenty-five years old. How is that I am old enough to have someone in a retainer?

Chase visited the orthodontist’s office this week for the installation of expanders that will slowly pry his mouth apart to appropriately house the teeth he already has. I don’t understand it all, but apparently this is phase one of many (thirteen?) that will result in perfect, pearly whites for my son.

There has been some confusion in our household about the proper name for the contraption that has regrettably stolen the “s” sound from my son. ( Occasionally he is able to enunciate the “s” in a way that is comprehensive but it unfortunately involves an abundance of spittle.) The orthodontic staff refers to the plastic and metal now overflowing in Chase’s mouth as “appliances.” I keep identifying them as retainers, and Chandler and Mary Mac call them SUSPENDERS.

Clearly, we are not up to date on orthodontic lingo. I’m trying to BRACE myself for what is to come. (Terrible, I know. Please refer to the mean, little red box in the corner.)

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Last night while John was building a fire in the fireplace, Chandler offered to help. He told John that he would "scramble the newspapers" under the wood to help the fire get started

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Our next door neighbors brought their newborn twins home from the hospital a week ago. Mary Mac was able to visit them, delighting in the real-life baby atmosphere that she is only able to mimic at home.

Tonight, while standing in the checkout line at Target, Mary Mac spontaneously said the following to us:

“Did you know that those twin babies are fed through their mommy’s pimples?”

The confused look on the Target employee’s face as she tried to reconcile acne with what she knew to be true about nursing brought me untold joy

Nonpartisan Joy

Climbing into the car this afternoon, Chandler could not get the words to leave his mouth fast enough:

“Mom, today’s the day! It’s finally the election which means McCain gets to ride the elephant and Obama will get on his donkey!”

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Regardless of the results of the election, this article written by John Piper brought me great peace. I hope it will do the same for you.

Chandlerisms

Word substitutions made by children always bring me joy. Certain vocabulary is not yet available to them so replacements in certain contexts are necessary to communicate. Out of all of my children, Chandler implements this method of speech the most, necessitating a name we have created for this pattern of dialect : Chandlerisms.



A few examples:

-When helping my husband cook recently, Chandler asked for the pliers (tongs) so that he could turn the bacon.

-Chandler recently had a cold and informed me that he had a “stuck up nose” (stuffed up nose).

-I gave the children a tour of my work environment, pointing out the indoor swimming pool, racquetball courts, and weight room. At the end of the tour Chandler asked me when he would be old enough to play “whack it ball.” (racquetball)

-Our family decided that we wanted to play monopoly the other day. Chandler excitedly ran for the game, announcing that he would set up the “stage” (board).

And one final Chandlerism:

-Apparently we have been playing a lot of cards this summer. This was accurately reflected when Chandler asked us if his sister’s bed was a queen, a king, or a joker.