Tuesday, May 6, 2008


This morning I found the object below lovingly placed on the the mantle in my bedroom. (It has since been removed. But, oh, how I appreciate his home decorating ambitions.)

This is a fancy trophy received by my husband at a benefit luncheon that involved shotguns, which is considered somewhat normal in the south. It occurred at a skeet shoot followed by barbecue followed by an awards ceremony. This particular ceremony deemed John's team the first place winners which awarded him a shiny trophy for shooting the most clay targets.

A grown man.

With a spanking new, cobalt blue trophy.

Trophies received by my nine year old:

Trophy received by my 40 something husband:

(minus his coveted Mr. Commerce High School trophy that we regrettably lost in the move)

At first I was uncertain of the occasion for the trophy. Upon first glance at the fellow on the top of the trophy one might think it was for a tug of war winner or even a pole vault champion. Glancing closer at the face of said fellow,you can't help but notice the goggles. Maybe it is for the man who exterminated the most bugs?

But alas, (Yeah, I just said alas. Feel free to click the mean little red box in the corner)it is an award for most accurate shooter. Good for him. I am proud. It brings me joy.

I would like a shiny trophy. In fact, I can think of several occasions that might support the notion of a trophy:

Multi-tasking Queen of the Carpool - I can pay bills, make dentist appointments and reach any item dropped on the floor of the backseat all while waiting in the carpool line at school

Quickest towel folder in the Southeast -My hands are like a blur, I tell you.

Fastest sprinter in the grocery store- I am especially quick when I have on my running shoes. I have been known to leave skid marks on the floor because of my speed.

Unfortunately there does not seem to be a market to promote these types of endeavors with an appropriate embellishment on a small, wooden stand, but I was able to locate a few trophies that may just recognize some of my dynamic feats:

In recognition of constantly running around in circles:

An award acknowledging this perpetual state I found myself in after the first few months in a new town:

Acceptance of this lovely bobble-headed trophy as part time teacher and coach, full time parent and cheerleader: (The likeness of the unwashed pony tail for two days is UNCANNY)

And finally, a prize for a memorable visit to McDonald's which secured this highest of honor:

Is this what it means to be a trophy wife?


Chas said...

If you don't put that trophy back on the mantle, I'll be so mad. I gave up my spot to shoot on that team for my main man JP. I'm deeply hurt that you would tease him over that fine accomplishment. John, I love you and I would never belittle one of your accomplishments. Hey, here's a thought John. Next time that empty bottle wiggles, get YOURSELF another one!
Next time I check this site I want to see my buddy's trophy back on the mantle!
PS- Time to pay for rest of beach trip. E-mail me for balance after you put trophy back.


Joni said...

I am quite proud of John's accomplishment, and very appreciative that you gave up your spot on TEAM SHARP SHOOTERS. As consolation, John has agreed to share his trophy.

I will bring it to the beach so that you may display in your home on your very own mantle. I'm sure your wife and my good firend, Sabrina, WON'T MIND A BIT.

Check's in the mail. : )