It feels as though I have come out of a fog, emerged from swimming under water, opened eyes to a world of color rather than grey. It is true that a mom is only as happy as her saddest child, and I would add to that only as jovial as her unhealthiest.
It would also appear that time did not stop in the midst of our struggle, and somehow I missed out on the month known as April. Yesterday, in wide eyed comprehension, I realized the neglect that had occurred over the last 45 days, and for a moment, became panicked at the overwhelming task of attending to all that had been overlooked.
A desk piled with bills, a calendar full of missed events, a laundry room that is downright shameful. Unanswered emails, thank you notes that have not yet been written, and end of school year obligations that make me dizzy.
After a moment of breathing in and out of a paper bag, I came to this regretful, yet honest conclusion. I will not be able to get to it all in a timely manner. In fact, some of it will take me quite a while. Because of this, I feel like it is in the best interest of all to take a moment and apologize to you in advance for the following:
6. I try to bring joy to others but by sharing our situation I may have stolen a little bit of yours. If my feeble attempts at humor fail to bring even a little bit of it back, allow me to apologize in advance.
7. For those of you who shared my blog updates with all your family and friends, know that I am overcome with your generosity towards our son. While I will always be grateful for that selfless act that solicited thousands of prayers, I lament on your behalf that they now know about my wayward eyebrows and tardiness in paying utilities. For that, I apologize in advance.
At the end of a struggle, I believe that you can either allow the experience to make you bitter or better. You will either love others differently, or disregard them even more.The love and concern you have shown to us has only served to inspire our own good, our own growth, allowing the better to be developed from the difficult.
And for that, I will not apologize in advance.