Friday, December 14, 2007

A letter to Santa....

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you are still taking requests but I have a few that I hope will make their way to the North Pole. The following are items that could really supplement my holiday joy. So, if you can, help a mother out.
  1. I would like the magic potion that would allow my children to sleep past 7:00 am. I'm all for the early bird getting the worm, just somewhere else besides my house.
  2. I love my husband, but could I also have a wife? One who washes clothes, packs lunches, remembers show and tell and all piano lessons, pays the bills and irons clothes properly (instead of willing the wrinkles out with the dryer). A gal who returns phone calls and emails in a timely manner, makes dinner representing all the food groups, and cares about dirty baseboards.
  3. I would like for my children to grow verrrry slowwwwly. While I still want to sleep a little later, I want my little ones to stay little. It's all going by too fast and there's too much I want to remember. Can't you fly around the world super-duper fast and slow the world down? (It worked in the Superman movie)
  4. I would like to use the bathroom alone. Enough said.
  5. I would like a razor and a tweezer that produce year long results.
  6. I would like a turkey I can cook for Christmas dinner minus the unnecessary guts found inside the cavity of every bird. What's that about?
  7. I would like a SUV makeover so that when the door is opened in the carpool line NOTHING falls out of the door. Not one pencil or one old field trip permission slip; not one shoe or one croc; not one empty juice box or one Happy Meal french fry. Nothing. Denada.
  8. I would like smooth, luxurious Clairol hair. The kind that withstands the humidity in the south rather than the current mane that turns into Bon Jovi concert hair at the slightest moisture in the air.
  9. I would like to wake up Chistmas morning with everything magically "lifted", certain areas properly "tucked", and all cellulite abstracted.
  10. I would like for Martha Stewart's show, magazine and products to be available only in the Netherlands. Reminders of my ineptness in napkin folding, candle creating, fresh juice squeezin', gravy makin' and pillow stitching is cruel and unnecessary. Just like the turkey innards.


PS - I could also use a new Santa hat. We had a little trouble with our other one.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Moms everywhere need to add to your list.